Love's Labours Lost
by Wistful Sage
Summary: ONE SHOT All James wants to do, after winning Lily's approval, is celebrate with his best friend ... but Bertha Jorkins has ambitious plans of her own...


**Disclaimer:** The world of Harry Potter and all its characters (including the ones I'm writing about) belong to JK Rowling alone. I just took an idea from book 4 and converted it into a story.

**Author's Notes:** Thanks a lot to Jtavington for going over the original draft and making it readable. Another big thanks to Clare (Wandaxmaximoff, id: 747588) who dug deep and brought out the most minor errors and helped me bring my story to the highest level of perfection it could ever reach.

**Love's Labours Lost**

From the moment Dumbledore said the password to the gargoyles in front of his office, the hairs of his beard started tingling – a sure sign that something was wrong. But what could have happened in his own office that he wasn't aware of?

It took even his sharp eyes a second glance across the room to notice the student that stood behind his desk, half concealed by a tall pile of books; but it wasn't the books that had made him miss her the first time. There was something about this particular student – she had a way of making people forget her existence; a rather unfortunate quality for someone as inquisitive as her, he thought.

'Ah, Miss Jorkins,' Dumbledore paused. 'What a – surprise – I must say!'

'Good afternoon, Professor Dumbledore,' she said.

A quick look was enough to tell him that the volumes of cookbooks that he had been browsing through that morning in order to find a certain delicious chocolate cake recipe were not quite as he'd left them a few minutes earlier.

'Ah, I see you have taken the liberty to make yourself at home and go through all my belongings. Not an excellent idea, but it certainly helps us do away with the normal formalities I would have observed on another occasion.'

She flushed. 'I didn't mean to pry, Professor Dumbledore. They were just … lying about. And you weren't coming, sir.'

'I'm sure the eleven minutes of my absence must have seemed an infinitely long wait to one as energetic as you.' Dumbledore nodded understandingly.

'Well anyway, it's not like I saw anything important,' she said, almost sighing. He sighed too.

'Though you doubtless would have, had you continued your search. Did your Head of House bring you here?'

Bertha shook her head violently, and suddenly rose to her full height (which admittedly wasn't much) as if she was being accused of something.

'I was just standing in front of your office a few days ago, sir, and Professor Slughorn came in. I accidentally overheard the password.'

'I see,' Dumbledore replied gravely. 'So, what brings you here Miss Jorkins, other than a casual curiosity in my personal possessions?'

***

If someone had seen James Potter early that March morning, humming softly to himself in an off tune key, they would have found it hard to believe that he would, in a couple of weeks, be playing in the Quidditch finals against Hufflepuff – believed by some to be the strongest team Hogwarts had seen in a long time.

There was a twinkle in his eye and purpose in his stride as he searched the corridors intently for his best mate. Padfoot had always been the first to hear about any new development in his life, and this was beyond exciting. Lily had finally agreed to go out with him! At least, he thought she had… she had said she 'might' and then scurried off to the Girls' Dormitory without any explanation. Well either ways it would be best to tell Padfoot – he was the best at interpreting the usual stuff girls came out with, riddled with double meanings and hidden implications. But in spite of all her flaws of conversation, Lily Evans was the most wonderful girl he had ever seen. His mind went back to the time he had cornered her in the common room; it dwelt happily on her red locks, which had only recently been brushed and shone in the dim light, on her green eyes, which sparkled with a mischief he had never noticed before, and her lips, which curved into a small smile when he relentlessly repeated the one question he had been asking for as long as they both could remember…

_Snap out of it…_

He couldn't believe how idiotic he was being, but then again, today was special, and he was perfectly allowed to dream away about himself and Lily in various romantic situations. It was probably owing to these beautiful but distracting thoughts that he almost ended up bumping into someone.

'I'm sorry,' he mumbled absentmindedly.

'That's all right,' the person replied, and then surprised him by adding, 'Are you James Potter?'

Now this was an insult. Didn't the whole school, even the first years, know who he was? He turned around to look at the fool who had uttered these ridiculous words. The girl was of average height and looks – in fact there was nothing about her that would set her apart from most other students of the school. So unlike Lily, with her beautiful face and her lithe figure … hell even her nose was pretty…

_Quit thinking about her, berk._

He forced himself to concentrate on the girl in front of him. She obviously mistook his silence for significant interest in her person, for she prattled on.

'You are, aren't you? The Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team … the best player in your house.'

'In the whole school,' he corrected kindly. This girl was obviously very stupid.

'In your house,' she reasserted, and her brown eyes lit up, suddenly seeming a lot different from before. 'Ludo Bagman is the best player in the school.'

James snorted. 'Bagman? As if! He's only gained his reputation as a Beater by hitting Bludger after Bludger at thick-skulled Slytherin players, who obviously had no more sense than to hurtle straight in the path of danger.'

He chose to ignore that Gryffindor had lost the Cup three times in a row to Hufflepuff ever since Bagman took up the Captain's mantle; after all, _he_ wasn't Captain of Gryffindor back then. The girl ignored his derisive expression, though. Her chest swelled with pride at the thought of her housemate and she opened her mouth and started declaring that the legendary Ludo Bagman could finish off anyone.

Whatever. He didn't have to stand around and listen to the tripe she believed to be true – he could just hex her. Just as he was reaching for his wand however, the voice of reason stopped him.

_That's the last thing you want to do … Lily despises it._

Oh … right … Lily. He wouldn't want to make her angry. Choosing instead to adopt a Moony-like indifferent expression, he politely but firmly told her he had to be elsewhere.

'Oh but wait a minute!' she cried. 'I just wanted ask you a favour!'

'Listen – whoever you are – I don't go around doing favours to random students just because they irritate me. Go ask for Remus Lupin if you need help with your homework.'

'I don't need _his _help in homework,' she replied scornfully. 'I'm a year ahead of you guys.'

'Oh,' James said, least interested. 'Well if you're looking for a date go ask Sirius, although I really doubt you're his type… Anyway, I really must be going now.'

'It's not a date I want either,' she almost snapped. 'I want you to teach me Quidditch.'

'Quidditch?' he asked disbelievingly.

'Quidditch,' she replied firmly. 'Flying, Chasing, and avoiding Bludgers, to be more precise.'

He looked at her, completely nonplussed.

'Do you want to join the Hufflepuff Quidditch team?'

'That much is obvious, isn't it?'

'What on earth for? We're going to wipe you guys out anyway. Besides I don't think Bagman would –'

The change his name brought about in her was enough for James to understand her reason for wanting to get into the team. Sheesh. The girl was in love with Ludo Bagman! What a strange female!

'Look – whoever you are –'

'Stop saying that!' she interjected. 'I'm Bertha.'

'_Bertha!_ Look, I don't think you can learn fast enough to get on the team. Much as I hate to admit it, the side Bagman's put together is way too strong for –'

'Oh just shut up and tell me when to come for practice!'

This was too much. In all his years at Hogwarts, no one spoke to him like that … well except maybe Lily and a few assorted Slytherins who he had jinxed properly later.

_Think how proud Lily would be if you didn't lose it and hurt this girl. Keep your cool. Be mature and level headed…_

'Look, I'm sorry, but even if you did want to get into the team, I'm not going to teach you. Beside the fact that I'm just too busy, I also completely don't give a damn about you, so if you'll excuse me…'

He suavely started walking away, but was stopped yet again by her irritating voice.

'That might not be very wise.'

More than confused, he turned around yet again. 'What are you going to do? Throw your glasses at me?'

'No,' she said, and maybe he was imagining it, but her smile turned evil. 'I'm going to tell on you.'

For a minute there was complete silence, so much so that he could hear an owl hoot outside. And then he couldn't hold it in any longer. Bertha watched serenely as he practically rolled around on the floor laughing, and waited until he'd calmed down a bit before adding, 'I saw you with Florence the other day… behind the greenhouses.'

'You followed us?' James asked in disbelief. He and Florence had dated for a total of about three days before she joined the long list of girls who never could match up to Lily, and it was daunting that someone had managed to find out about them in that short period.

'I – whatever, it doesn't matter. What does is that I'll tell the whole school if you don't agree to teach me Quidditch.'

'Good grief girl, you can't seriously think I'd care.'

Her expression changed again for a brief second, as if she was surprised, but James didn't pay much attention. He'd wasted enough time here already. Still amused at the audacity and foolishness of the Hufflepuff, he turned around … and suddenly felt like the wind had been knocked out of him.

Lily was standing there, right behind him, her face frigid. All his previous happiness was wiped from his mind; all that was left was a frantic hope that she hadn't heard.

'All right, Evans?' he said foolishly.

_Why Why Why? Couldn't you ever find a better phrase to address her with!_

'Erm … nice day isn't it?' He waved his hand about wildly.

She raised an eyebrow. Despite the gravity of his situation, James stole a glance through the window outside. The sky was overcast – a gloomy gray. Thunder rolled in the distance.

_Why didn't you notice this when you were feeling so euphoric earlier today?_

'Lily,' James began desperately, 'it wasn't like that. Florence and I – I mean – it was just –'

'I don't care what happened between Florence and you behind the greenhouses, Potter. It's about time you realized not everyone is all that interested in your love life.'

_Potter_ she said. Merlin help him.

'No … Lily seriously! This was before I asked you –'

'Like I said, I don't care.' With an icy indifference, she walked past him and continued on her way down the corridor.

'Lily!' he spluttered. 'Lily! Wait! Please just let me –'

This was just too much for him. Without thinking, he roared at her, 'And what about you and Snivellus eh?'

Lily never paused or looked back, merely went on as if she couldn't hear her classmate shouting at her.

_That's it, then, you're back to square one._

All the trouble he'd been through … all the plans Moony and Padfoot had come up with to impress her after she stopped talking to Snape … this was what it had all come to. What did she think anyway? That he would never date anyone while she kept turning him down? An immense pain sprung up from somewhere in his stomach, and threatened to engulf him. This was way worse than all the other times she had turned him down or been rude to him. He felt both shocked and shattered. Why did she have to act like this? Didn't she know how much he cared for him?

_Do you know how much you care for her?_

Oh this was just perfect. He had to realize that he was actually in love with her when all chances of him ever getting together with her were ruined. In addition to the fatheaded mean bully she'd always thought him, he was now the guy who fooled around with girls. How could he ever explain to her that it wasn't so?

'Ha ha!' A voice said from behind him. He turned back to see Bertha was still there, looking very smug. 'I told you it wouldn't be wise. Well I suppose now that she knows you'll definitely not help me. I guess I should go ask the Ravenclaw team captain…'

All the grief gnawing at him from the inside turned quickly to anger – hot rage that knew no reason. Thunder rolled again outside, this time closer, louder, and it mixed with the rush that filled his own head…

***

Bertha Jorkins was fuming as she turned around. Someone had been very ingenious with human transfiguration and given her a hump … it was so big that Dumbledore wondered how he had not noticed it before, especially as it was dripping a foul, greasy substance on his carpet. Earwax? An unbidden memory presented itself to him.

_He saw James Potter standing with his wand raised, looking daggers at Bertha as she whimpered, cowering on the floor._

_'You messed with the wrong person this time, nosy.'_

Dumbledore sighed. Bertha looked appealingly at him, her face a mixture of indignation and intimidation.

'He put a hex on me, Professor Dumbledore, and I was only teasing him, sir, I only said I'd seen him kissing Florence behind the greenhouses last Thursday. . . .'


End file.
